metamorphosis.

did another crazy thing today.
saw this guy on wheelchair on the train
he was scribbling on this notebook.
somethg about
everythg has a purpose.
even pain.
and about him being so intimate with pain.
and that he doesnt want to be. he doesnt have a choice.

i mean what he is writing is more interesting that english tcher what
which i was desperately forcing myself to read.

then somehow, there was a card in my wallet.
so i took it out n wrote
only through pain can strength be found.
god bless.

after much internal struggle
i put the card on his bag and left the train
he smiled at me leh.
haha.

smth small.
but it took alot of courage leh. --" i humji what.

then had coreteam meeting.
ran in the rain to fetch jieling with qiao.
then service.

sermons about metamorphosis.
and the morphing process.
are we really doing so much for God that we dont have time for God?
service ended.
must you be so fake?
lunch at starhub with the rest.
duck rice.

set off for serangoon.
wen rc first
and serangoon stadium.
played one game.
ok lah.
cudnt really run in those slippers and jeans thats slipping off --"

set off alone to serangoon mrt
so surprised i didnt get lost --"
and to outram park.

met up with ber and qiao and her parents.
sbs went to watch the discovery of the noah's ark.
wow.
so wowed.
all the geography, history and statistics all tally.
apparently 200+ religions all mentioned about a great flood and some boat.
they filmed the process of going up the mysterious mount ararat
till the gap that u can actually see the wooden grain through the translucent ice.
really admire this people.
their faith.

and that ard 90% of the bible's prophesies have already taken place.
end times?



great day (:
still not back to normal completely.

that.

little you shang feeling. wonders why.
lalala.

thought too much of worldy stuff.
blabbered nonsense.
and now overwhelmed with that same emptiness 8months back.
i wan my fulfillment back.

gona get it tml i guess (:

did a cool thg just now leh.
haha. scissors paper stone with ber on the bus.
she won.
so we just hopped off the bus right before the driver closes the door.
and skipped off to some kopitiam by the roadside.
talked and ate.

its these little surprises in life that made life lively? hurhur.

was sitting on the thg @ the fitness corner.
felt .. nice.
realised i like to sit up somewhere high and stargaze and stare at the sky.

no pple, i do not commit suicide --"
i love sky (:
so vast. so everchanging. and so pretty (:
sunsets rock.



lalala.

barney.

happy birthday dearest dino. ber (:
happy birthday ganjiao!
happy birthday anqi!

lalala.
qiao ate 3 cakes.
i ate 2.
cakey day ehh.

had a celeb with ber during recess
wanted her to have a hong hong lie lie bd during recess mah
but apparently it wasnt really bombastic. --"
haha. and the yakun thingy didnt trick her x(
haha everyone had fun lah and bread n bacon and choccake. x)

ran back to lessons.

aft sku.
and aft one hour of packing stuff during cme.
then had a quick bd celeb with ganjiao.
tiramisu x)
and rushed off to cg.

had it at ricks (?) house.
i duno how spell his name x(
had cg. played noisy games.
pizze treat from yihui (: thanks shepherd!
praise worship ..

me n qiao left early and ran to meet ber,
standing there alone.
wen to j8.
sw ens ens.
i shall not go back to eating goodfood. no no no.

and we talked.
then walked ard.
got this puzzle piece thg. think its so cool x)

lalala.

and thank god!
chem prac and show n tell was ok.
the thumbdrive opened!

oh and chem lab needs to restock man.
when i pour limewater in the base of the testtubr DROPPED off.
ok maybe i heated it abit x)




commontests coming.
s t o p u s i n g c o m p.

give ;

it feels so good to bless people.
blessed sheep with 2 notebooks (: to keep watch over her own exciting walk.
and choc bars for jon, knowing he will die of starvation if he goes to choir w.o food.
and ying n ser
poor 3/5ers got xtra lessons.

lalala
wen makan lunch with xin

that woman went back to sku willingly with me
and she wrote her postcard
and i did my stupid chem.

xin left with ber n weiting
and i contd with chem. didnt doze off, surprisingly.

aft that choir n lyfe sci finish
so me jon n pete wen off to j8
they wanted to cut hair
and become like hairless naked mole rats RUFUS! x)
but in the end the coupon jon has only valid at the amk outlet --"
so we wen makan kfc.

they did. i stared. didnt feel like eating kfc.
and we chatted.
and stare at the gay couple. x( vehh gross leh
got a craving x)
off to long john for choc sundae pie (:
so xingfu.

walked ard the place.
headed home.
pete wen off to tpy
me n jon met gabriel.
ehh my pri sku classmate (:
66`02. gabriel jing. lol.
hes about the same larh, but now got sku culture and that aura emitting from him.
weird. the 2 guys talking abt council.

so i stare.





and its yishun x)


off to show and tell.
ltr ho say my class slack attitude sucks again --"

orh yah, we got michael an interesting bd pressie.
haha. happy birthday social butterfly (:

lalala.
lyfe rocks. (:
smile, `cause life's worth it.

shepherd (:

im jielings shepherd (:
excited about this new commitment. hurhur.
for once actually excited about a commitment.

it feels great to be able to serve.

had followup with her and yihui at chengsan CC cafe
duno why so many andersonians x(

lalala.
feel like eating more marshmellows.
was feeling pathetic holding a chem text and struggling to take marshmellows and gummies.
then realised was walking ard with my drawing of boredom during chem on my anklet x(
the cards and such people see my daily lorh o.o hope they aint sian. lalala.


im getting so super crappy.
shall reply tags on the board itself. lalala.

orh yah so sorry jg we spoilt ur bd gift.
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY (:

crave2

hurhur.
i think u all duno this.
that i got an obedience award in primary 5!
really leh. got the laminated certificate (:

me and xin were discussing our pri sku funny achievements
she got best in conduct before sia. lol.

crave was okay
loads of converts.
still waiting to walk down that aisle.
with the person i salvaged.
that joy. wahh. overwhelming. >.<

looking forward to service next week.
wen for lunch at the rockymaster little cafe

then met the others
shopping with kclan (w.o jo) and qiao
to get bers pres (:
then jass wen cut hair at tpy and qiao left for organ.
we feasted and practically have a picnic in de elements larh.
famousamos cookies, sushi, drinks, twisties :X





shud do show and tell.
chem prac next week
*shrieks.

howww.

striving ;

ehh my bloggers back to eng,
i have been reading everythg in chi.


saddened.
rejections. ur gh.

was having talk with kuayclan (minus jo) during the concert x)
and after it, sitting ard the sku.
scribbled on floor
talking.

threefour won the most no. of pple wearing ethnic costume
mainly because the rest of the classes dun care
were taking alot of photos.
enthu rah rah supporters class (:

guides was kind of slack larh
besides the punishment for squats.
really wish that the leaders can all work harmoniously larh.

was busy rehearsing the opening ceremony in my head.
think i kind of screwed it. was unserious.
and the closing ceremony was ok leh.
anyhow one :X but i think the horseshoe shape ok bah.

cixin! i left the cute little clover u gave me in the comp lab :(
she found a four leaf clover (:







so saturated now.
so many things to do,
so many things to understand,
so many to solve.

so many to salvage.









drained again.



zzz/

dreams ;

new layout

jue dui superstarr.
haha.

revivals round over.

was so touched by what they say
"kelly, u now carry the dreams of us three. jiayou!"

its names.
its numbers.
they would be forgotten very soon.
but under every number, every name, lies a life.
with a dream.

that dream is propelling that life.

and many just got trashed.
and they are climbing up again.
this courage.
this preserverance im seeking.


jiayou all of you (:
leon, u still rock!

whenever i open up this window,
i forgot everythg i wanted to blog about. --"

i cant believe its week four already.

*shrieks.

so overwhelmed.





at least now dun have guides stuff to worry about cux farewell and cf over liao.
haha.
seniors, u all still matter very much to us.
and u guys are the funnest and closest batch we ever knew in the guides hierachy over the yrs.
really want to wish u all the best in whatever lyfe has in store for you.
god bless.






i dun have maths hw today!

and i wen shopping with xin ytd for 3h in town
and i just bought ONE pen.

(:




how.
im becoming so guai.
lifes getting more sian.
everyones so busy.






bah.
off to calling pple. (:

abyssal.

abyssal.

i think it rocked.



everyones pretty high larh
sjab as usual stone :P
ncc didnt even bother to turn up.

the rest were more enthu than i expected actually.
or maybe like what pam said
enclosed area.

yeah.
it ra i ne d.
really duno why.
disappointed. but i know theres a reason. WWJD?





orh yeah.
didnt cry much during farewell
only jo..
i laugh until cry
but i think partially is really cant bear to see them go.
seniors rock (:






elaborate more another day.
dyi ng .

zzz.

severlackof`sl e ep .

little hearts yearn little
a lolly is enough to satisfy the desire
as the heart grew older
it craves for more
its capacity grew so big
it never understood what "enough" means

in the growth process
God put so many in ur life
you wen thru all of them
leaving behind tearstreaks and footprints

and yet ur heart is empty
deep within
only half-filled with memories

cherish and treasure everything u have,
u hear countless times.
i hold dear the friendships and love showered on me
with agape love from the Father above
a passion and dream to chase

(: awaiting revival
awaiting realisation
and salvation.



dun really know what that means ^
jumbled thoughts.
stru ck me during CI or JW
after nap in geog marh.
energetic after that

recently super blur larh. - -"
severe lack of sleep.

senior farewell presents driving us mad.
duwan them to go. ):
still rmb last year was saying this batch of seniors we surely cry like shit one
and its happening.
time flies.
cant catch up. duwana go to sec fourr ):

cixin says im naiive and stupid
mak says take it as a compliment. lol.
but dreams really do come true what. ...
right?




really want to take the step towards my dream too (:
like jasmine.

puqin and mak, must jiayouu also (:






happy birthday pjs!
puqin jaslyn serene

get choc cake for recess (:
wahaha.









(:

energy

energy concert rocked.

(:
really.

so blessed today (:
was complaining abt being broke.
then opened sermon notebook during service n found 15 bucks!
then spent it away buying belt :X

then at first the tix from jasmine are complimentary so its kind of like super far away like upstairs larh.
and we settled comfortably there and self consoled then "Actually still can see larh"
but guess what?
the burly guy came and "u all can move down to the (forgot what word he use) and stay there unless the tix holder comes back"
so me n ahmak pia down larh
the seat is great larh
its the 2nd most expensive one.
is ard the area i sat for weibos concert
which i paid 100 bucks for~
and now its like $0.

i prayed that noone will come n chase us away from the seats
then sat there in insecurity and keep looking back.
and got a duo came to sit beside us leh.
xia si ren
and end up we sat there throughout. so blessed right!

the concert was great but feels so short.
nth really out of the ordinary.
their songs and dancing

but they each planned a solo segment
milk danced topless --" got pacs mah.
ahdi sang.
its his life story he sang.
me n mak cried --"
so sad. i mean can u give up ur loved one, ur health all for music?

then shuwei played organ and sang smth.
he composed one, but i dun understand.

kunda just sing the "tian kong hai mei xia yu"
and grin.



ppft.

shuwei wore skirt!
cux the encore was the "we are family" song
then they purposely got costumes all over the world
shuwei was some russian person wearing red skirt n boots.
and ahdi v man xia, the samurai thing. lol.





very tired.
x)


great day.
but morn andno carnival didnt get to enjoy much
but thanks ber for the choc dipped strawberries. so nice (:
was stuck in 1/7 for the superpitch presentation the whole morning.
n nas` brownies still rock!!
but i miss the one at chalet.

me n pete anyhow present leh :X
but we got the 150 full sponsorship.
noones complaining.

then aft much confusion,
me pete n jon rushed off to service
made qiao wait so long at mrt. sorrys.

haha circumstances really fade away ..
always during service u feel refreshed and recharged. n less burdened.
i cant go for next week one!!
u r g h.

oorh wells
wen eat lunch n ddr with qiao

then jiu meet ahmak
then head over to kallang lorh.




very tired.
ciaos x.

-

upset.

realisation.
when will it get to all of you?


time is running out.

(:

jasmine!
congrats (:
haha. she got csm ok.
aka higest rank in sjab
it pays off, ta.

was at guides
then so anxious for them
like 50 times more nervous than when its guides --"

then couldnt resist
didnt care and wen to watch the rod ceremony.

weilun.
pingkee.
and jasmine marched out with guojie.
so. touched.
thankGod. prayers work.
fell on the floor with great joy and relief lorh. (:
great feeling.

and ying!
log head with arthur.

happy for all of them (:



nothing much.
very sickened by some stuffs.
urg h h.

but its gona be a great weekend (:
rocking.

update more soon.



` praiseHim!
tml service (:
energy concert (:

oleveloral.

oral sucks.
so dumb.
didnt know that the pasage and cover not suppose to have any links.
--"whatever.
glad its over.
think having eng oral tml.
urgh.

had black forest choc (:
and wen for guides.
wah thank God man,
i skipped the 130 suqats x)
had PE in the morn liao.

quite slack larh.
was drawing senior farewell invite thoughs.
Artist-in-general? lol.
designer in general sounds cooler

i can draw for ages x)
although redoing the same thg agn and agn can be sian.
but ..
haii, really hope the guides tee turn out well.
sounds cca-obsessed ehh. nahh.
im turning freak sadistic. (:

aft that wen to amk central with hx and the 4 of them,
to source for materials.
pretty kool larh.
get to have the say when it comes to design.
its not as if im good,
just that no one in guides wans to do it mah.
and i dun mind doing (:

lalalas x)
then wen to j8 with berr.
made her walk all over the place. sorrys
got belated bd pres.
i wana change diary :p




tags ;
`cixin_u rock stone pebble.
god bless for nationals! (:
jiayouu.

`pete_ur classrm is freak far away x( shalll u be called the reminder? lol.
going to hotel sounds so wrong. lol. to those who duno, we mean talking in hotels like during the winit trip. not doing anythg wrong ok. why arent u online grr.

`jon_we have to really do our work and stop be glued to the comp x) wah im never playing smack games with youu. neverrr.
anw im ready to listen to you anytime larh.
cheerup kay (: lets get chengsan membership (:
mondayy.

`pam_haha thanks.
im fine liao (: God bless youu too!

`jass_love youu guys loads too (:
i know. hope tmls gona be okay. i will be strong for youu! (sounds corny) but i hope there isnt a need (:

`bryan_its really really really ok. dun worry about it.

`anon_who are youu? lol. raffles? hurhur. u pay arh?

`james_lol. HELLO! good lucks for ur upcoming orals (: see youu at Hope someday!

geog.

c h op.
its kind of nice seeing hair cut and fall.

im getting more n more sadistic.
and carbon monoxide out of showerheads to kill people?
creative. x)




haiya.
so sianned.
sleeping during geog.
funniest jokes since the day she taught

"those doing rapids, please move to the front rapidly"
"we will change as we go along the way, just like a river does"

geog jokes.






HAHAHA.
im gg insane.

chengsancc

the maguang medicine is freak bitter.
i have 34 packs (:
and 7 tablets.

HELP!

urgh.

im hating geog more and more.
perfect nap time mans.
anw aft sku was freak despo.

everyones busy.
mak/jo at oral,
xin @ track,
ying in lesson,
jass @ sjab.

aft guides walking ard with gastrics.
and noone pei me go eat.
thanks qiao for attempting to.
in the end the 3/5 pple dismiss and ser pei me go makan
met weeyang also

and then spent very long trying to open jonathanQueks locker.
its un-openable ok ><

was gg to shop with shepherd.
then she doesnt feel like gg liao --"

so end up i wen pass jon the geog text @ cheng san CC
and wen in to study
and guess what?
all the church brothers there. lol.
jontay, jiancong, peter gideon etc.
haha very weird.
only girl there. --"

had choc eclair with jon
at the damn kool cafe
and then we wen home lorh.

haha nth much larh
lifes a bore recently.

i wan holidays :X

faked;

Fiery passion out of pure heart
was extinguishued by tears of helplessness
shed weeks ago
for someone i hold dearr

was hurt
and numbed.

that i couldnt feel anythg ytd.
unspoken, misunderstood.
not soughting after the rank
wishing for recognition
its a whole complicated scene
behind the facade
that noone everr everr looks at.

happy times were far away
fake friendships smacked into your face
realised the vulnerability.

all the achievements chasing.
all the paper chasing.
how long can it satisfy youu?

confused.



thanks for caring.
love loads.
ber, jass, jo, ying, mak, xin, qiao.
u showed me true friendship.
(: